| Bloody solfege |
[Monday,
April 30th, 2012 @ 12:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
do me do
do so do
re la mi
ti ti ti
dooooooo
|
|
| Gah still not studying yet |
[Saturday,
April 21st, 2012 @ 10:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
agitated |
] |
The day I sat down to study... was the day I cleared a lot of emails and admin. Procrastination is still eating me up!!
I was listening to BBC Radio, but got distracted by listening to disgusting rap music e.g. Birdman hahaha ok the music and the videos really suck but I guess their value is not in the music per se! But the attitude, culture etc. Hip hop songs are not for aesthetics. The lyrics can be quite terrible, like so many cuss words I don't even want to listen to it. Although on second thoughts, perhaps reading a little into them would be of benefit... hm
I need to know, how does one find a list of schools doing a particular O level subject, e.g. Drama? It is not in the SEAB website, or on Google as far as I can tell... o_O Also I am quite curious to know which school(s) it is that is offering Religious Studies (Bible Knowledge) at O levels lol
Oh wait, I think I found it. But... it's an MOE press release of 2005. =/
I have made sandwiches for lunch AND dinner today... and I still haven't started studying!!! Aaarrrggghhhhh
|
|
| The kind of writing that strikes gold |
[Sunday,
April 8th, 2012 @ 6:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 inspired |
] |
Today, I read this article.
There are so many things that struck a chord with me in it, that no matter how long it was, I kept latching on to new thoughts like gold nuggets.
"False sense of self-worth" (when "better at X" becomes simply "better").
"An elite education not only ushers you into the upper classes; it trains you for the life you will lead once you get there".
"Entitled mediocrity".
And the paragraph about people having an independent spirit. Just as I had begun to consider trying to conform, this bit shows me that there's a place for people like me... and writes it very flatteringly, to boot.
I think I'm a great case study to illustrate the "boys' / girls' club" of elite education, rofl. No matter how badly I always do at school, somehow I am never stripped of all those labels that carried me through pri/sec/JC life. Luckily though, this has usually had more or less benign consequences so far... I think.
|
|
| Visiting my dad on a post-rainy afternoon |
[Friday,
April 6th, 2012 @ 3:44pm] |
|
Ants on a cemetery plot: miniscule black spider-like ones, tiny brown ones, larger shiny gold-brown ones, skinny sleek black ones, very big black-grey ones with bulbous butts. The shiny gold-brown ones are laying eggs? or eating? some black blobs on the stems of weeds. Ten minutes, time's up! Got nicked by thorns on weeds on the way out. But it's much better having a taxi to pay to bring us back to the lands of the living.Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
|
|
| Imagined high |
[Thursday,
April 5th, 2012 @ 4:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hopeful |
] |
Getting things done! Feels good =)
Who am I kidding, I haven't even started on schoolwork yet LOL
In other news, excited about Shunji Matsuo hair show! Shoutout to UTown LJ friends (more from Cinnamon than Tembusu), there will be a fashion and hair show 12 April 7.30pm, and I'll be modeling for it! I wish it didn't clash with Cinnamon formal dinner though =( It would have been great if y'all could come. I also wish it wasn't restricted to UTown people. Heh. I guess the MPH has a limited seating capacity x.x
Looking up, looking up! Even if you're at the bottom, you gotta be looking up =)
|
|
| Self-absorbed commentary |
[Wednesday,
April 4th, 2012 @ 1:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 reflective |
] |
This period is just a lot a lot of self-reflection.
Yesterday I went for an interview that I totally bombed, and the interviewers had to tell me how to act in an interview next time. "You really need to know how to sell yourself," they said kindly. Miraculously, they still gave me the place.
Without the kindness of other people, I would be nothing. This isn't just a perspective that I hold so that I can continually have faith in people. I NEED to have faith in people, because I can't seem to do anything by myself. I somehow (unwillingly and unconsciously) continually reinforce the idea in people's minds - if they were thinking that way - that I'm an incompetent fluffbrain. I realize this is a good strategy, but only when it's a strategy!! It cannot be an uncontrollable part of oneself!
I am also finding that my ambivalence to perspectives, being generally quite non-judgmental about different opinions, is a burden brought on by my tendency to shy away from commitment. I can't even put forth one strong perspective of my own, not if I thought people would judge me for it, because I know that one perspective is not me. I could do it in a classroom setting or whatever, where the aim is to throw out perspectives and all move towards a common understanding. But in daily interactions I sink into the background, unwilling to let people judge me for any one view. The best I do is to offer counter-perspectives to people who put forth their own strong opinions, and show that I agree with them, but I also consider some other perspective. This generally gets me regarded as an irritant, cos I don't say anything strong of my own but instead seem to just enjoy "tekan"-ing other people.
Having an awareness of this is all well and good, but all it does is place me firmly in a community of weirdos. As I have said myself to other people several times, one needs to get with other people, no matter how eccentric they themselves are. Even though we are all different and strange, we need to see each other as "normal" or "acceptable" first before we can start to be comfortable with each other; only then can we push past the barriers, dig through the layers. My problem I guess is that my inner layers are all already unearthed and sunning on the surface for all to judge without context.
(I have yet to discover how singing is a refuge for me, compared to acting, which pushes me. I'm pretty sure, really sure, it has something to do with identity. Ironic cos you'd think theatre was The place where you put on roles. But I guess, singing does that better for me.)
Blogging, I miss you!
|
|
| Hush, little baby, don't say a word |
[Wednesday,
March 14th, 2012 @ 10:57pm] |
|
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird Zzz. Many, many frustrations during this period... but I already spent all evening trying to deal. There are small moments of cheer, yes. But they are hardly comfort. What makes this experience exponentially frustrating is that I have absolutely no one to confide in. No One! ...and there's So Much to say!! And of course, not only is the experience less than joyful, on top of it all are the expectations. It should be joyful, it should at least be meaningful! But, how awful! I can't even do my job to my own satisfaction. As only one other person can sympathize with, so many extraneous problems keep coming in and messing up things that I have already fixed. Again and again! And when that's over, my next job scope somehow gets taken from me, not by any particular person, but by popular vote. Heck, it feels like secondary school. Except worse, cos that job was actually originally mine. And what can I do? I can't blame anyone. Really, I'm too lousy to even fight for it back, because guess what, I can fight for others but somehow I can't fight for myself. Theatre is supposed to be a collaborative effort. Well I can't wait till I can be in a collaboration again. When people are friendly with each other, and above all, respect each other. When people give each other space to grow, and not do things that make them suspect and be wary of each other. There has never been a hierarchy in my theatre work, or at least nothing we couldn't ignore, for a collective improvement. And here I am, back to the same conclusion: theatre must be something I do for fun. Not because I need a stable job... but because there's too much at stake if it's not for fun. I cannot go through a theatre experience feeling miserable like this even once... I certainly cannot do it for a living! I can't harden myself like that. I guess I'm not a typical outstanding actress. In fact I'm a very quiet actress who is easily pushed around. But I guess, I will find my space. Where I can have room to grow. Hurtling down the runway and tomorrow, it all takes off, for its short-lived flight, after which it will come back down to earth and then we can all dust our coats, shake everyone's hands, and go our separate ways.Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
|
|
| Breakfast |
[Wednesday,
March 14th, 2012 @ 9:50am] |
|
This morning I was in a hurry and tapau-ed 5 chicken nuggets from the Malay stall, despite not approving of processed food and not wanting fried stuff in the morning. I regretted it when I realized the Asian stall (which I had assumed served rubbish as usual) had red bean pau and siew mai. HAIZ. Been thinking of pau all the way to Raffles Place... gonna buy myself one at 7-eleven or sth bleh
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
|
|
| Musings |
[Friday,
March 9th, 2012 @ 11:36am] |
|
Do insects get carsick and throw up? The poor orange insect I left on the bus window ledge seems as though it's holding on for dear life. Moving backwards must be traumatizing!
I don't really know how to use LJ these days. I've wanted to blog several times this month, but somehow never got around to it. And you'd think having an app would make it easier! Shall try to blog more. And discover my mobile phone... for class hahaha. But for next week, the Sims! Btw yesterday I got a really nifty sound recording device which is a bit hard to figure out but which is going to transform my life... and keep transforming it lolol seeing as how I suspect I'll be discovering more things about it as time goes on. Wah, like a relationship!Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
|
|
| The nerve of some people |
[Tuesday,
February 14th, 2012 @ 12:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
You think you can sign up and commit to a project just to skive off and leave your work undone, to be redistributed to your groupmates? You think giving the excuse that you have work undone from one week ago is a valid excuse to push aside a new batch of work, when everyone else has finished theirs ages ago? You would rather put in the energy and effort to write abrasive and sarcastic messages to me than to take the very little time that it requires to do a simple, practically brainless job?
You think you can do whatever you want and get away with it? You better watch out, little girl.
|
|
| Adventures in and out of my room |
[Saturday,
January 14th, 2012 @ 8:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed off |
] |
"Tell you ah, these computers always force you to engage in things you don't want to. It's a bit like date rape." - Robin Loon, 13/1/12 9.13am first lecture
Fuck lah I typed a damn long blog post and it got deleted!! D:
|
|
| Tembusu, Chronicled |
[Tuesday,
January 10th, 2012 @ 2:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thrilled |
] |
So I stay in Tembusu now!
It's been pretty great so far. The room can actually fit all my things, wow. Like, if they remain in their boxes. I need to send half my things back sigh overpacking ftw
I checked in and then went for a module consult where I got the module that I somehow couldn't get at the module pref exercise. At the time I got the module, there were only like 10 mins left to the lesson. I went up to at least say hi to the teacher, but took a phone call and then the class was over. A cleaning makcik revealed that there had been a class... consisting of like one person -.-
First dinner at Tembusu: three huge chicken drumsticks, on top of gravy-slathered turmeric rice, with veg and fruits. I don't know how I finished it all. Even more unbelievable is my craving for cookies after that x.x Skinny period is over, that's for sure, zomg x.x
One major bummer though: the room provides internet, but no internet cable. Whutt. Wireless is ridiculously slow ;_; On the upside, when I get a LAN cable I will also bring in mah lovely desktop PC with uber gaming capabilities =D =D Heh heh heh
So I hear College 4, or 3, is to be named Kaya. Seriously?!
At 1am, which I'd thought was a good time to go sleep actually, I got inadvertently hauled out into the corridor (or living room) for an hourlong chat with my suitemates. They're pretty cool actually! V fun and sensible-ish too, from what I gather. We're having dinner tgt on Thursday, and on Weds we ladies are gonna paint the town red haha. I'm psyched =D (And comforted by their acknowledgment that this will probably be the only time we ever do this until like the end of exams.)
Time for bed! Who knows what excitements Day 2 will bring! Hur hur
|
|
| Blast! Camp Day 1 |
[Thursday,
December 8th, 2011 @ 2:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
OMG WHAT IS LIVEJOURNAL.SG
Day 1 of Blast! camp has been really cool. I'm tired but happy =D
And our group's song mix includes a Harry Potter dubstep/d&b remix!!!! WTF LOLOL Nic really comes up with the craziest ideas!
Mm sleepy.
|
|
| Camp again |
[Wednesday,
December 7th, 2011 @ 8:55am] |
|
So I just had a chalet and now I'm going for a camp. Lulz. I dislike these social activities but I guess I see the need/reason for them x.x Watched Dutchman last night (film by LeRoi Jones). A really interesting movie. Although I still don't understand how the black guy (Clay) could have still flirted with the white girl (Lula) despite her racist, insulting remarks to his face. Or how she can have the sympathy of the entire train although she was so offensive and abrasive. I guess it's really about people accepting their stereotypes, and under public scrutiny, even starting to perform them. But I'm v uncomfortable with this world where people do not have, or are unable to exercize, their individual choice, and start becoming puppets in a grand narrative that's already been scripted for them. We can fight the stereotypes, can't we? Like for example, if there's an Indian movie where a guy rants for a solid 5-10 mins about annoying traits of women which are seemingly true of other cultures and other times. It is possible to resist the stereotype and assuredly declare that there are women who are not like that, right? Of course some women may possess some of those traits (who doesn't, many men do too), but that really doesn't necessitate, or reinforce, the stereotype. Of course, the issue isn't about whether the stereotypes are true or not. It's about whether people behave as if they were true. Case in point, Dutchman, where the Angry/Violent Black Man stereotype (amongst others) finally gets played out in its full glory, shortly before it's stubbed out. So if someone tells me I'm insecure because of the way I respond to films, should I believe it? Of course not. Because I know how I respond to things, and I take a lot of time/effort to organize my thoughts. That's why I'm more comfortable with writing I guess, when I have sth to say. What I have to do, though, is to keep an eye open to make sure I don't get misunderstood again, or at least make sure I am justifiably accused. Still, to try and minimize instances of accusation, perhaps next time instead of trying to respond verbally I should write. At least that would pretty much ensure that I don't get interrupted, rofl. Joke. Hungry. Will hunt down some Mr Bean before cabbing to ze camp briefing.Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
|
|
| Southeast Asia is odd |
[Thursday,
November 24th, 2011 @ 5:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 puzzled |
] |
Why is it that the Ebay SEA site doesn't have a search bar and you can't seem to buy anything on it... and all the links, text etc are about selling?!?!? Wah profits profitsss
Idk how I would use Twitter man. Replies and stuff aren't neatly organized like LJ... x.x
|
|
| Depressed |
[Wednesday,
November 23rd, 2011 @ 10:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
morose |
] |
Everyone is doing something awesome with their lives.
Sigh.
|
|
| Multitasking our play |
[Tuesday,
November 22nd, 2011 @ 6:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
curious |
] |
I just saw, on the LJ front page, "Occupy Wall-et" hahahaha
I wonder if people watch downloaded tv series episodes with the subtitles on and their earphones in, except through their earphones they're listening to music????
Hmmmmmmm
In other news, today I bought the first pair of jeans I've ever bought in my life that fit. Fit well, mind you. I love Uniqlo. Thank you, God and all divine beings out there, for Uniqlo.
|
|
| Wow the end of school term just gets suckier and suckier |
[Monday,
November 7th, 2011 @ 11:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
Happy hari raya holiday to all!
Spent the weekend making more ketupats, eating, talking to my mom, visiting relatives, etc etc and now I have a test tmr, an essay due tmr and a writing assignment due by tonight!! The status of aforementioned tasks need not be mentioned...
Doesn't help that I've been ponning lectures to do other assignments. Win lol.
Sigh k 6h to chiong
|
|
| Classes, last week of school |
[Thursday,
November 3rd, 2011 @ 12:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hungry |
] |
So in the last few weeks I've been skipping all my Monday lectures... that's three lectures.
Tutorials are seeing dwindling attendance too. LOL. SE tutorial now, no exam and our essays are submitted so I guess people think tutorial attendance isn't that impt. Although it is. >.>
So, so, so. We need to do our readings!!
Hindus in Malaysia only revolted against their economic oppression when their temples started to be destroyed. Previously their economic position was threatened, but they did nothing... until their identity was threatened. They used to blame the British for their troubles, seeing their fellow countrymen as brothers in poverty (lol), until they realized that Malay Muslims were burning down their temples.
Or another explanation: Is religion the opiate of the masses? Sure, but it also forms the basis for revolution! Because religion was used as the opiate, when this was taken away they were certain to revolt. The burning of temples was a consciousness-raising event that brought all manner of other inequalities to the fore, like racial identity, economic position, etc. But the trigger was religion.
The Aceh case, however, is a reverse: they were unhappy with their economic position, and only subsequently did they identify themselves as a religious movement. Then it became "Aceh is a separatist state, wants its own identity, wants Syariah law". Wow that became really twisted.
On Elton John concert protests:
Norman Halim, chairman of the Recording Industry Association Of Malaysia said, "These are just a few narrow-minded people trying to impose their values on everybody. You don't go to an Elton John concert and suddenly become gay!"
The Star reported that one of the organizers of the concert sent a tweet addressing PAS, saying, "If you're against Elton John, please ask your members to stop calling me for free tickets."
Hari Raya Haji is this Sunday aaaahhhhhh all these rituals (and good food)
Lesson is over! Thank you, LJ, for keeping me awake!
|
|
| Writing for the theatre |
[Sunday,
October 23rd, 2011 @ 1:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
On writing for the theatre, my position is: abstractness and complexity are great, but they must always, always be based on solid foundations of what some might call 'mainstream writing'. This includes acting, directing etc. If you deviate so far from the norm, what is there to be amazed at when you give no indication of knowing where the norm is in the first place?
"I have great faith in Constantine. I know there is something in him. He thinks in images; his stories are vivid and full of colour, and always affect me deeply. It is only a pity that he has no definite object in view. He creates impressions, and nothing more, and one cannot go far on impressions alone." - Dorn, The Seagull
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7){kind=small}
xewyne's journal
